BY KATE FAVARO
C.T. Hospice Outreach Coordinator

One of the most common things people say after the death of a beloved pet is, "I know they were just a pet, but..." That sentence usually comes with an apology, as though grieving an animal companion is somehow less deserving of understanding. Furry (or scaled or feathered) friends can become cherished members of a family and important sources of support for us humans. They can provide companionship when we're facing grief, loving us unconditionally even as we cry all over them, while grieving right alongside us. At some point, we will have to say goodbye to them, leaving us with another loss and a very unique grief experience to navigate.

Hospice of St. Lawrence Valley offers the following on grieving a pet:

• It is a valid loss, and rituals can be helpful. Grieving after a death is a normal response, even when it was not a person who died. Finding rituals similar to those you might engage in after a person's death may also be meaningful after the loss of a pet. This can look like having your pet cremated and keeping their ashes in a special place, getting a tattoo of their paw print, or even writing them an obituary. Do not underestimate the comfort these rituals can bring to you and others.
• Pet loss may be a child's first exposure to grief. Recognize this heartbreak as an invaluable teaching opportunity. You can model healthy grieving for children, normalize the many feelings they may be experiencing, and help them learn ways to stay connected to their pet. This loss may also open the door to difficult conversations about death and dying, which can be had using concrete, age-appropriate language. There are several picture books written specifically for these situations.

Some people may not be able to relate to this grief experience, but that does not mean grieving a pet is abnormal or "weird." These are companions with whom people have shared their daily lives, found comfort, laughed, and, in some cases, discovered a sense of purpose. Whether they were a regal tabby cat, an adorable 9-pound Yorkie, a beloved Frenchie, or a cheeky parrot, their absence will be felt, and they will be grieved.

Hospice of St. Lawrence Valley is able to bring you this education and its free community grief support program, which supports people grieving any type of loss, through the support of our Trailblazer and Horizon Keeper Business Partners: Community Bank, N.A.; Donaldson-Seymour Funeral Home; NuMed for Children; and SeaComm.