Performing Arts Center spanning space-time?
Wednesday, August 22, 2012 - 12:51 pm

To the Editor:

I wanted to say a word about the drawing you had of the new Performing Arts Center at SUCP. I’ve been watching that go up for some time, trying to imagine what is likely going to be where in that building without much success.

From outer Main Street and from the college side, too, I’ve managed to get only a confused idea of a massive, hardened-concrete bunker-and-missle-silo from on side, and an open-mouthed, iron-jawed alligator from the other (of course, this is while it’s still the skeletal, girder stage). Except the alligator doesn’t seem to have enough body, and the bunker is way too far above ground.

I wonder if the architect (always assuming he’s still in control) ever read Robert A. Heinlein’s short story “And He Built A Crooked House”? it’s about an architect who built a house while thinking of the problems of fourth-demensional tesseracts, and produced a structure so advanced and complete that a small earthquake (this was in California) collapsed most of it - all above the first story - into the fourth dimension. The owners could get in, all right, but getting out wasn’t so easy since every door opened into another one of the rooms, and the windows looked out on places you wouldn’t want to go.

It was a pretty funny story (and still is). But how funny is it going to be when 300 to 400 students and faculty here find themselves in the same situation?

Not to mention the same number of ticket-holders for a performance. We have earth-tremors, too, and I never saw a structure that looked so much as if it already had extensions into another space-time as that Performing Arts center. I am just asking.

On the bright side, if could open a whole new frontier in jurisprudence. If you even inadvertently transport a few hundred people into another space-time, does it count as mass kidnapping? And what happens for example to the Mann act?

We know about transporting across state lines for immoral purposed, but what about across space-times by unintended consequences? I think or D.A. ought to get her staff gearing up for this stuff; the local law firms will be way ahead of her if she doesn’t.

Christopher Dunn, Potsdam