*Disclaimer: This story is solely the property of Joe Bushey. Therefore, it's validity is questionable. Plus, it was posted on April Fools' Day, so nothing should be taken seriously.

The celebrated author who brought you a pair of worldwide bestsellers, the sports information department’s Gary Mikel, will be releasing his much hyped third novel this spring entitled “Legit Beef: A story of records lost.”

“Legit Beef,” produced by Joe Bushey Publishing, Inc., examines the questionable scoring over the years that have kept numerous athletes from reaching notable heights, and how it has changed their lives.

Three key chapters in the work involve former student-athletes Brandon Linton, Tim Barcomb, and David Evans. Linton finished with 992 career points, eight shy of becoming one of just a handful of players with 1,000 points in their respective careers. The story revolves around how the scorers’ table was out to get Linton because of a personal issue regarding the player and a late night game of scrabble. For every “q” that was unused, he was docked a point at the discretion of the table, an unfortunate side effect of the high stakes game. 

In regards to Barcomb’s slight, he fell one hit short of Clarkson’s all-time batting average mark, which would have given him the career triple crown in baseball at the University. This story weaves around a groundball to the shortstop in a game against Utica College in 2001 and how Barcomb’s life has been altered since as he has developed a severe problem in his arm that sidelined him from a professional career, causing considerable delirium.

Evans’ case comes down to being two points shy of 100 career points for the men’s hockey team. On two separate occasions, both at home, his assists were removed from goals after the completions of those particular games. Sinister behind-doors acts are too much for the average reader, and are best left for those daring enough to read that particular chapter.

If you are interested in reading the other runaway bestsellers by Mr. Mikel, please check out your local book store for his other titles, “Breakfast Burrito,” a novel about an early morning meal that has its protagonist pushed into unwanted international intrigue, and “The Last Rat,” a semi-autobiographical account of the author’s time trailing a Las Vegas mob.